David Ullman | Long Walk Short Drink: Podcast Soundtrack Album

I listen to a lot of poccasts, but I can't think of another podcast mix album soundtrack. That's not to suggest there isn't one. I've heard of—and purchased—original music soundtracks associated with podcasts, and perhaps there are Spotify playlists a plenty.

This collection grew out of my now 17 year practice of making annual mix albums. In 2017, so much centered around Long Walk Short Drink I wasn't listening to much else beyond the show (for editing) and Stephen King audio books. I thought this would be my mix album for that year, and I put it together as a surprise gift for the fellas to listen to as we all drove to Des Moines, Iowa to watch Star Wars: The Last Jedi together in person.

That year, there was a 20 episode stretch where Moto edited a musical commentary track together for each two-to-four-hour show (Episodes 13 - 32). This bed of music—later supplemented with soundbites (“Hmmm… Didn’t like it?” or “That’s what she said!” type stuff)—was at first songs and score from specific films being discussed. As he got further into, and new “characters” and segments were introduced to the podcast, Moto began to create a new dimension of meaning through the soundtrack. Whether this was just the ATM beep from the scene in Maximum Overdrive inserted when Palmer or I mentioned we’d be talking about something in a “King Corner” later that episode, or the a bit from Kevin Bassinson’s Cyborg theme everytime something “death” related came up, or Harold Faltermeyer’s soaring “Top Gun Anthem” when military service was mentioned, these contextual cues added an extra layer of fun to our rambling conversations.

Then, of course, there's Moto's original theme music, which bookends the 27-track mix, which I also published as a streamable experience on Mixcloud. The liner notes below explain the context of the song selections and link to some related podcast episodes.

If you’re a collector like me, I’d recommend clicking the “MP3 DOWNLOAD” button. There you can download this newly expanded edition and add it to your digital library. This download includes nine bonus tracks—our segment intros for [Non] Smoking Stats, Dave Digs, Palmer’s Pleasure, King Corner, Learning From The Internet, Twinkie’s Take, Palmers’ Pick, Sh*t The Bride Says, and even The Dead Zone Book Club!

- David Ullman, July 2021

Long Walk Short Drink - Moto Music Mix

"Long Walk Short Drink Theme" by Tommy Maplewood - My brother “Moto” (AKA: Tommy Maplewood) took my meandering 80’s action-movie theme song suggestions sung into my cellphone during my drive into work one morning and translated them into the kick-ass Long Walk Short Drink theme song that opens each show.

Related Episodes: All—plus in Ep. 4 the origins of the theme song are discussed. At the end of this episode is the original iPhone file sent to Moto. And in Ep. 13, Tommy Maplewood speaks for himself.

"Playing With The Boys" by Kenny Loggins - This song from the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun (1986) became synonymous with dudin-it-up. And please also remember, “don’t talk shit about Top Gun!”

"Who Made Who (King Corner Theme)" by AC/DC - “Honey, come on over here, sugar buns. This machine just called me an asshole!” So says Stephen King in the cameo that opens his directorial effort, Maximum Overdrive (1986). We adopted this clip from the film as the intro music for the recurring “King Corner” segment devoted to the author.

Related Episode: Most—plus LWSD Ep. 6 - Maximum Overdrive

"Thunder in Your Heart" by Stan Bush - The magnificently macho-singer of many-an-80’s-film-montage-sequence-soundtrack song contributed this newer track to the retro, post-apocalyptic “superhero comedy” Turbo Kid (2015).

Related Episode: LWSD Ep. 5 - Turbo Kids.

"Anonymous" by SSQ - This 1983 SSQ synthpop song plays over the closing credits of Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010), the feature film debut of Panos Cosmatos (Mandy). Beyond the Black Rainbow was reportedly written by Cosmatos as a reflection of the horror films he could never watch as a child but always fantasized about based on their VHS cover art. Plus, there’s something about us being “anonymous,” from the “plausible deniability” of the nicknames to the low-listenership numbers that seemed to apply.

Related Episode: LWSD Ep. 7 - Beyond The Black Rainbow.

"One (Cabin Kids Theme)" by U2 - Used to evoke “The Cabin,” both a simple shack in the woods of rural Ohio and a safe haven of life-changing acceptance where we used to gather as teenagers on Friday nights to drink soda, sing songs, and smoke cigars. Friends from this time came to be called “Cabin Kids” on the podcast, all of whom can be seen in their youth in this montage assembled in 1999 set to U2’s iconic song.

Related Episodes: "Cabin Kid" Volumes 1-4 (and counting)

LWSD Ep.11 - Cabin Kids Vol. 1: Twinkie

LWSD Ep. 31 - Cabin Kids Vol. 2: Pumps

LWSD Ep. 35 - Cabin Kids Vol. 3: Steiner

LWSD Ep. 48 - Cabin Kids Vol. 4: Kramms

"Battle Without Honor Or Humanity (Sh*t The Bride Says Theme)" by 布袋寅泰 - This badass track from the Kill Bill soundtrack became the theme music for "Sh*t The Bride Says."

My voice-over from the full-version of the segment intro:

Sh*t The Bride Says features selections from the clandestine Twitter page I started in 2010 to document the things my wife says that make me laugh so hard I have to stop everything and preserve them. The wicked sense of humor soon to follow is especially funny, given the fact that, in everyday life, The Bride is an upstanding member of our community, an outstanding member of her profession, and an all-around compassionate and exemplary human being. She denies any and all association with the Twitter page from which these quotes are read. However, I can assure you everything repeated here was most certainly said by The Bride.

Very early in the podcast recording sessions, Palmer and I wanted to find ways to refer to our wives without dragging them into our uncensored nonsense. He settled on "Ash" (Evil Dead), and I picked "The Bride" after Uma Thurman's vengeful assassin in the Kill Bill films. Once this became a recurring feature on the show, I started publishing the new tweets @ShitDaBrideSays.

Related Episodes: Quite a few shows have the STBS segment, beginning with LWSD Ep. 12 - The Stand. The cinematic character of "The Bride" is discussed at length in LWSD 23 - Ash vs Kill Bill in which Palmer's bride gives her impressions of her first viewing of Kill Bill Volume[s] 1 & 2.

"Cyborg Main Title (Death Theme)" by Kevin Bassinson - This haunting score segment from Jean-Claude Van Damme’s 1989 martial-arts cyberpunk film came to be associated with death. During the episodes Moto decked out with musical commentary, every time someone said “died,” “death,” “killed,” or any such thing, he would drop a few seconds of this creepy cue.

Related Episode: LWSD Ep. 13 - Cyborg.

"On My Own / Alone (Friendship Theme)" by Stan Bush For those who didn’t grow up repeatedly watching Bloodsport (1988), there’s a scene at the end where Van Damme’s Frank Dux and Donald Gibb’s Ray Jackson clasp hands over Jackson’s hospital bed after Dux has become the first westerner to win Hong Kong’s clandestine Kumite and solidify their friendship.

JACKSON:

Anytime… Anywhere… If you ever need me, I’ll be there.

DUX:
I love you, my friend.

JACKSON:
Me, too. But don’t you get too cocky. You might have to go up against me next time.

This Stan Bush power ballad plays on the soundtrack as Dux sulks around Hong Kong after Jackson has been hospitalized by the villainous defending Kumite champion, Chong Li. Moto would play a bit of this whenever we'd get into "I love you, man" territory.

"The Stand (Miniseries Theme)" by W.G. Snuffy Walden - The most common topic on the Long Walk Short Drink podcast is horror author Stephen King. When Palmer visited me in Minnesota in the summer of 2016, it came up that I’d just started listening to Stephen King’s books in order from Carrie onward. He casually replied, “I’ve been doing the same thing for the last couple of years.” What are the odds of something so specific happening in the lives of two old friends reconnecting after a period of years during which we didn’t communicate much? When we started recording the podcast shortly thereafter, we'd often talk about where we were in our respective Stephen King chronologies.

Related Episodes: There are several STAND-specific shows.

LWSD Ep. 12 - The Stand (The book)

LWSD Ep. 15 - Classic Coke Stories (The 1994 Miniseries)

LWSD Ep. 90 - Palmers' Pick: THE STAND (The 2020 Miniseries)

"Streetfighting Van Damme (Twinkie's Mullet Theme)" by Graeme Revell - Fans of the 1993 action film Hard Target can easily picture Jean-Claude Van Damme's moistened mullet. When LWSD cast member (and founding "Cabin Kid") Twinkie grew his hair into a mullet, this became his hair's theme song.

"Top Gun Anthem (Honor, Courage, and Commitment Theme)" by Harold Faltermeyer & Steve Stevens - Two of our regular guests—Pumps and Shamrock—are Veterans, and Moto took to playing this track when talk turned to their time in the Service.

"Hearts On Fire (DD's Theme)" by John Cafferty - I think of DD as the patron saint of Long Walk Short Drink. A pal from Palmer's teaching days, DD has somewhere a list of all the movies, music, TV shows, books, video games, etc. referenced on the podcast—at least up to a certain point. I've only seen glimpses of it, but that seems to me a very daunting task. It is perhaps that passion for the show that inspired Moto to use this song from Rocky IV as DD's theme.

Related Episode: LWSD Ep.30 - Full Cast, All Stars. (DD's first appearance on the podcast.)

"Way Down We Go" by Kaleo - This track from Icelandic rock band KALEO was Palmer’s pick for episode 17. Check out 1:11:25 in the show link below to hear the segment (which includes some delightful a capella singing).

"Seagulls! (Stop It Now)" by Bad Lip Reading - From the Bad Lip Reading geniuses on YouTube, this irresistible song about Yoda’s unpleasant encounter with seagulls began as a part of the longer "THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: A Bad Lip Reading.” However, it is so catchy, that the song was segmented and released as a single. In episode 8a, we sing its praises from 1:03:58 - 1:06:53.

Related Episode: LWSD Ep. 18a - Listener Feedback.

"SexyBack (Ash's Theme)" by Justin Timberlake feat.Timbaland - This 2006 JT track became Moto’s go-to theme for Palmer’s wife, “Ash.”

"Big and Chunky (Moto's Theme)" by will.I.Am - Though his nickname is a nod to Ninja Warrior competitor Yamamoto Shingo (山本進悟). Moto used this playful song from the animated film Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008) as his own theme. That’s will.i.am as Moto Moto the hippopotamus—a name so nice, “you say it double.”

"Zeta Jones" by Pale Ryda - The iconic and impossibly sexy shot of Catherine Zeta-Jones dipping beneath the lasers in Entrapment came up in the very first episode of Long Wong Short Drink, as Palmer led us through his favorite year in films: 1999. This track, incorporating the Workaholics refrain, was recorded at 1AM in a bathroom on an iPhone 4 using GarageBand in 2012.

"Middle Fingers" by MISSIO - This defiant anthem from the Austin, Texas-based electronic alternative duo MISSO was among Palmer’s top “Pleasures” from 2017.

Related Episode: LWSD Ep. 38 - 2017 Picks.

"The Mark Has Been Made [Edit]" by Nine Inch Nails - Shamrock’s contribution to the Revenge Films episode was the 2004 Tony Scott film Man on Fire, which features six Nine Inch Nails tracks—including this one from The Fragile (1999).

"The Dead Zone (Opening Titles)" by Michael Kamen - From episode 23 - 27 we took a book-club approach to Stephen King’s 1979 novel, The Dead Zone, culminating in a discussion of David Cronenberg’s 1983 film adaptation starring (OOOOH!!!) Christopher Walken—creepily scored by Michael Kamen.

Related Episode: LWSD Ep. 27 - The Dead Zone Wrap-Up.

"Burn [Edit]" by The Cure - Though I ended up talking way more about the James O’Barr book than the Brandon Lee movie, my pick for the Revenge Films episode was Alex Proyas’ The Crow (1994). Having seen that flick countless times, it was fun reconstructing an edit of this Cure song that matches the timing of the iconic scene in which the character first puts on “The Crow” makeup.

"Fist Of Fury (Main Theme)" by Joseph Koo / Ku Chia Hui / Michael Remedios - Moto’s addition the Revenge Films show was Bruce Lee’s Fist of Fury (1972). Also known as The Chinese Connection*, this opening track from the Fist of Fury OST features a very-70’s-lounge-singery vocal by Michael Remedios. Remedios was the lead singer of the 1960’s Hong Kong English pop band The Mystics. This version of the main theme that plays under the opening titles is from the Japanese soundtrack album, which I picked up on vinyl sometime in the mid ‘90s. The lyrics by James Wong, who wrote many such film theme songs all the way up to 2004, are as follows:

I use hands to hold my fellowman
I use hands to help with what I can
But when I face an unjust injury
Then I’ll change my hands into fists of fury

I use hands to show my friendliness
I use hands to give a kind caress
But when a man slaughters his fellowman
Then I’ll change my hands into fists of fury

No more hands to give my love to you
But you’ll know I’ve done what I must do
I’ve fought the strong and I did right the wrong
When I changed my hands into fists of fury

Oddly enough, these English lyrics only appear in the Japanese versions of the film and soundtrack LP, which also includes many passages of dialog from the English-dubbed version. However, you can hear voice-actor Michael Kay’s approximation of Bruce Lee’s primal battle cries punctuate the music in all versions.

*The reason this film is called The Chinese Connection in the U.S. is because of a mistake. Bruce Lee's first two films for Golden Harvest, The Big Boss (1971) and Fist of Fury (1972) were reportedly sent together to our domestic distributor mislabeled. The Big Boss, whose story takes place in an ice factory [SPOILER] through which heroin is trafficked, was meant to be re-titled The Chinese Connection to cash in on William Friedkin’s late 1971 hit, The French Connection, in which Gene Hackman’s “Popeye” Doyle pursues a French heroin smuggler. The mixup resulted in The Big Boss getting released as Fists of Fury (with the added “s”) and Fist of Fury saddled with the nonsequitur title, The Chinese Connection. For reasons likely obvious to fans of the film, Fist of Fury—amended to Dragon: Fist of Fury—was not released in Japan until July 1974, a full year after Bruce Lee’s untimely death.

"Anvil of Crom (Mr. Jay's Theme)" by Basil Poledouris - Mr. Jay’s contribution to the Revenge Film conversation was John Millius and Oliver Stone’s adaptation of Conan The Barbarian (1982).

"Robocop (Main Title)" by Basil Poledouris - Way back in episode 5, Palmer learns that I had never seen Robocop (1987). By episode 32, we make good on our promise to watch and discuss—with the added perspectives of DD and Stan The Man.

"A Better Way (From Swiss Army Man)" by Andy Hull & Robert McDowell - This song from the 2016 “surreal comedy-drama film” Swiss Army Man is penned and performed by Andy Hull and Robert McDowell of the Atlanta-based band, Manchester Orchestra. Hull and McDowell are behind the whole soundtrack for this one-of-a-kind movie in which Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) plays a farting corpse who prevents Paul Dano from committing suicide on a deserted island—at least, that’s how Palmer pitched it to me, Moto, and Shamrock. It’s a surprisingly funny, bizarre, and ultimately touching exploration of isolation. This song captures the melancholic but hopeful spirit of the film beautifully.

Related Episode: LWSD Ep. 36 - Swiss Army Man.

"Long Walk Short Drink Theme (Reprise)" by Tommy Maplewood - In the last bars of this reprise of Moto’s rockin’ theme music for the podcast, he goes full Stan Bush with the vocal as Tommy Maplewood. “This was a long walk, fuckin’ short driiiiiinnkk… Yeah!”